How to cheat on your spouseContents:
I asked if he had a place to say and if I could keep the house. He went to take a shower, I packed some clothes for him and made him a lunch, we shared a very long hug, and he left. And that was it — the end of our marriage. Seven years later, I am happily living with the new guy and my ex is still with the woman he met while we were together. Things could be really passionate because we were infatuated with each other, but when it was bad, it was really bad.
I knew he had cheated on me and suspected that he continued to do so — I once found an earring in my room from a girl he had brought home the night before — so I started revenge-cheating back. He told me every time he kissed another girl at the club or something, and I pretended not to be bothered. Then I would cheat on him out of anger. I had zero qualms about kissing other boys or even seeing other guys. I liked the attention from men who actually made me feel good about myself, and I liked that the attention I got made my boyfriend jealous. The person I cheated with the most often was an ex-boyfriend who had actually asked me to marry him years before, but I had said no.
I knew he adored me and would do anything for me, so I really exploited that. We went out for dinner, fooled around, and then I would ask him to drop me off at home… where my boyfriend also lived. So tacky, now that I think about it. He broke my heart, and it was awful. He was willing to give me attention, and we had this deeply emotional attraction that went far beyond a physical connection. He told me he loved me, and while being doted on is great, it was also a little too much too soon. I guess the signs were all there, but when you have bills to pay, kids to look after and socks to pair up, the sex side of a marriage dissipates at a rapid rate of knots.
Quite frankly, I just thought that we had a typical and very normal married sex life. And dull at that so I decided to join a dating website. Of course, there were inevitably the men who were looking for quickies between board meetings and some even went so far as admitting that a double macchiato and sex on their way back from the City was a perfect alternative to having to pay for a hooker.
I was surprised by the amount of genuinely loving men who admitted with pained expressions that they desperately wanted to make love to their wives, however, for a multitude of reasons, this past time was never going to be on the marital cards again. Over time, I met men who had wives with arthritis, alcoholism, menopausal symptoms, depression, to name a few. The longing to be touched by my husband faded along with the vintage lace on my wedding dress and I was peeved that as we marched up the aisle, 23 years ago to say our vows, not one person spoke up about what happens when one of the partners no longer wanted to get cosy beneath the Egyptian cotton sheets.
Were we just meant to suffer in silence?
- What's it like to cheat on your husband? These three women are regularly unfaithful.
- “If I start getting attached I get scared of being hurt again”.
- The Cheating Spouse Tips and Cheat Sheet. 36 things every guy should know before he cheats.!
- What's it like to cheat on your husband? These three women are regularly unfaithful - Mirror Online!
- Tip 1: Use a mistress with the same name.
Or were we meant to get total satisfaction from self-stimulation before the school run? I remember the first affair I had. I arrived at a quirky restaurant in London that seemingly only had road kill on the menu. I really had no clue how affairs worked and genuinely tried to back out after the first teenage snog on the tube. I did, and it was great. This gentle man who has since become a fabulous friend, explained how he struggled with the thought of never having intimate times again with his wife who is riddled with arthritis. He yearned to hold her close, yet the physical pain she felt was too much to even comprehend the thought of having a cuddle, let alone sexual intimacy.
Another highly sexed man became addicted to cocaine and regularly woke up in crack dens at 5am, only to brush down his Saville Row suit and head to his breakfast meeting in Mayfair. There was also a man whose wife had had a mastectomy and would understandably never get undressed in front of him again. We all had one thing in common.
I cheated on my husband — and this is why I did it
We all dearly loved our spouses, but the need for intimacy drove us to utter confusion and subsequently, affairs. Things changed for me when I met a man who I fell for. In retrospect, I perhaps fell for the situation as opposed to him. I went from washing sweaty running shorts and arguing over packed lunches, to making love to a 40 year old doctor on the top floor of the Hilton, resting my head on his shoulder during a West End musical and holding hands in the rain as we laughed our way into a hotel foyer.
We are led to believe that people who have affairs are akin to something we find on the bottom of our wellies after a walk in the country. I beg to differ.
However, when you are in love with a spouse who no longer wants the same physical stimulation, for whatever reason, what are you meant to do? Without a doubt, having had several affairs is not something I am proud of and but since very recently finding out that my husband had hidden his cross-dressing fetish for all our married life, the guilt has eased. I now understand why he was never very demonstrative and I can only assume that he got the satisfaction he needed from wearing my underwear and dresses; when what I needed was a strong man to hold me in his arms and make me feel secure.
I've lost my husband or happy that we had 23 years together raising two beautiful children and travelling the world? What I do realize is that life is not black and white.
Well, I've been married for many years and can honestly say that until last year had never cheated before in any sense. I started going out with my husband when I was just 18 so for most of my adult life he had been all I had known sexually. We have one child and so at the earlier part of last year I began to look more closely at our relationship and marriage in general. I reflected on the previous few years and realised that the physical side of our relationship had all but disappeared. I left it a while and then sensitively broached the subject again of our lack of intimacy and again I basically got the brush off.
I think it's fair to point out that in all other respects we have a great relationship; enjoy nights out, holidays, have a laugh etc but this missing bit was starting to get in the way. He talked me through my options: Yes, even the hot ones, so beware that the cool chick you hook-up with may become the next stalker, call your real girlfriend just to get back at you, sleep with roommate type, mutilate you, etc. The hookup girl may play it cool for a while, but chances are she wants to be the full time thing and she will secretly work to get you busted.
The more you go back for some, the greater the risk you will get busted. Yes, she will lie to you about being on the pill and actually get pregnant. See numbers 2, 3, 5, 6 Girlfriends find credit card receipts. Then you have to go out and buy everything you bought your mistress for her. If you are meeting your side thing at your place, your neighbors know and sometimes they talk to girlfriends. Especially if you live in an apartment with thin walls. Girlfriends see text messages on your phone from other women.
Their femme sense goes off the second it shows up in your text box. This is a documented fact. Girlfriends see strange numbers on your phone and investigate them. This remains true for and numbers as well. When men cheat, it usually means that they are looking for something their girlfriend is not providing.
“I knew he cheated on me, so I started revenge cheating”
Realize that your real relationship is already screwed. If you truly love your girlfriend, expect some serious, painful guilt. I mean, the kind that gnaws at your soul. If you still have one. You could end up on one of those fun websites in the spotlight like WomanSavers. Long after girlfriend forgave you, her family and friends will still hate you.
Tip 2: No children - go for younger mistresses
Your girlfriend WILL cheat on you in retaliation. Oh yeah, the guy she cheats with will be hotter than you. Or worse, your best friend. Your girlfriend will try harder than anything to forget what you did.
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